Crisis Conversations
by melanie39
Summary: A series of drabbles set during The Perfect Storm, conversations between key characters about Ryan's decision.
1. Chapter 1

I have written a series of 500 word or so drabbles, based on conversations that occur in the Cohen household on the day Ryan is due to leave on the boat, during The Perfect Storm . This is the first one, Sandy/ Kirsten. Thanks to Loracj for betaing.

**He's not a man, he's only a boy**

"Sandy, he's packing!" Kirsten marched into Sandy's study accusingly. Sandy put down his pen and looked up at his wife.

"I had hoped he'd have come to his senses by now…."

"You know, this mind meld thing isn't going to work!" Kirsten stood in front of his desk, her hands on her hips, her lips tightened with frustration. "You need to talk to him…"

Sandy smoothed back his hair away from his forehead.

"Look, if he doesn't make the decision to stay on his own and we force him, we'll just end up alienating him. Is that what you want?"

"I want him here, where he belongs. He's been abandoned by one family, we're not going to do that to him again. "

"We're not abandoning him."

"If we let him go, we are."

"Even if he doesn't go now, he has the right to leave when he's eighteen, with or without our permission."

"He's not eighteen for another six months. He's a boy, in the eyes of the law at any rate. And in my eyes. He should be at home with a family who loves him."

"It's not like he won't be back. He'll have time off, we'll still see him."

"It's not the same thing and you know it. When we became his guardians, we made a commitment to him. A commitment to take care of him. Not just let him do what he wants regardless of the consequences."

not just let him do what he wants

"Taking care of him doesn't mean making him stay here against his will."

"He's seventeen Sandy! He's not old enough to make the sort of decision you're letting him make. And don't throw that "I left home at seventeen," crap at me again. This is different. You graduated from school, went to college. You didn't throw your future away."

"Like I said yesterday, graduating, college, that's a course we set for him. If he doesn't want to see the benefits of it, we can't force him."

"He's given up, Sandy! Can't you see that? He can see the benefits, he's not stupid, he just thinks they're out of his reach." She fixed her eyes on her husband before she ended with a final stinging remark. "You wouldn't let Seth give up. You wouldinsist he stay and finish school. Because that's what parents do. "

Sandy flushed with anger. "Don't tell me I'm treating Ryan differently because he's not our kid."

"Well, aren't you?"

Sandy bit his lip. "They're different, Seth and Ryan. You know that. What works for one kid doesn't necessarily work for another."

"I know that, Sandy but Ryan needs to know we aren't prepared to let him go."

"Why? So he can resent us and never come back?"

Kirsten swallowed. "That's it, isn't it. You're scared he'll leave and never come back if we force him."That's it, isn't it? You're scared he'll leave and never come back if we force him to stay.

Sandy refused to meet her eyes. Kirsten sighed. When she spoke again, her voice was grave.

"Sandy please, think about this. Ryan may hate us for it, I get that. But deep down, he'll know we're doing it for his own good. If we let him go now, we're no better than his mother."

tbc


	2. Chapter 2

This is the second in a series of 500 word or so drabbles, "Crisis Conversations", which may have taken place during The Perfect Storm. Thank you to Loracj for betaing.

This one is Sandy and Seth. I have shamelessly stolen Ryan's best line and given it to Seth to say first! Thanks as always to Loracj for betaing.

**The best friends live in pool houses**

Sandy knocked tentatively on his son's door. Seth had been rivalling Ryan for the title of Broodiest Teen in Newport since he had signed Ryan's Guardian Release form, and Sandy thought it was time they had one of their "talks.

"Seth, you in there?"

Sandy knew things must be bad when his words were not met with a volley of sarcastic quips.

He pushed the door open cautiously and stuck his head round the corner of the room. Seth lay on the bed, staring upwards. He ignored his father.

"Seth, can we talk?"

"You can talk, dad but I'm not promising to listen." His eyes remained fixed to the ceiling.

Sandy sat down heavily on the edge of the bed.

"I know you're not very happy with me…"

Seth snorted. "Yeah, there's an understatement."

"Seth! Try and understand." Seth sat up abruptly and swung his legs over the side of the bed. He glared at his father, the dark brown of his eyes flashing with accusation.

"Yeah I'm really trying, dad. I'm trying to understand why you and mom would take in a kid abandoned by his alcoholic mother and her abusive boyfriend, treat him like your own and then just let him walk out of our lives when the going gets rough."

"You know it's not like that, Seth. We've been through tough times with Ryan before. We've never given up on him. We're NOT giving up on him now."

"No? Then why aren't you stopping him from leaving?"

"Ryan's right, he should be allowed to make his own decisions."

"Yeah? Like I'm allowed to? I can go and get on the boat with him then?"

"Now don't be stupid, Seth…"

"I'm being serious. You'd let me go?"

Sandy shrugged his shoulders, bewildered. Seth's eyes bored into him as he waited for his father to respond.

"If I felt you had a right to leave, then, I guess I'd probably let you go. I don't know."

"And you think Ryan has a right to leave?"

Sandy moved along the bed so he was closer to Seth.

"Like he said, he's been trying, and things haven't gone so well."

"So he should be allowed to give up?"

"I think he's tired of trying…"

"I don't think he's tired. I think he's lonely."

"Lonely?"

"Yeah, you know. He's not part of Harbor, he's not part of Newport Union. He's not a Cohen. He's not really an Atwood either, not any more. It just seems like he's adrift, I guess." Seth smirked momentarily to himself. Adrift? Kind of ironic really, seeing as where Ryan was headed.

Sandy sighed. Seth was probably right. He hadn't seen it like that.

Seth lowered his head and picked at his fingernails.

"I don't want him to leave…" he whispered.

A lump formed in Sandy's throat as he took in the slumped shoulders and look of resignation on his son's face. He placed an arm around him.

"I don't want him to leave either, Seth. But part of being a good parent is letting your kids make decisions you know they'll probably live to regret."

Seth rested his head on his father's shoulder.

"But this is such a big decision."

"I know. But Ryan's handled big decisions in the past. He'll figure out what's right eventually. It just might take a while."

"And you think he'll come back?"

Sandy shrugged. "I can't promise anything Seth. I hope so. I think he will. But whatever happens in the future, don't we want Ryan leaving today knowing he'll always be welcome here?"

tbc


	3. Chapter 3

This is the third of my drabbles, "Crisis Conversations" set during The Perfect Storm. This is a discussion between Kirsten and Marissa.

Rating: General

Beta: Loracj2

Spoilers: For "The Perfect Storm" only

**What is it about bad boys?**

"Hey, Marissa!"

Oh hi, Kirsten." Marissa looked up from the small photo frame she was examining, a picture of Ryan and Seth on the Summer Breeze, probably taken shortly after Ryan arrived, and replaced it on the shelf. "I hope you don't mind me hanging out here till Ryan gets back."

Kirsten smiled, her arms full of neatly folded laundry.

"Of course not. I've just brought over the last of Ryan's clothes. I know he's more or less packed but there may be some things he wants here." Placing the clothing carefully on the vacant chair, she glanced at Marissa.

"You know, he's probably just summoning up the courage to tell you. I don't think he meant to leave you in the dark."

"I just wish he'd talked to me about it."

Kirsten joined her on the bed.

"Marissa, we all wish Ryan would do that. I guess he's just not used to it. Somehow I don't think his family was the listening type. And now he's used to figuring things out for himself. Even after all the time he's been with us, I think it's still very hard for him to let someone else decide what should happen to him."

"I get that. I even get why he's leaving. I just wish he wouldn't."

"Well, you're one step ahead of me, sweetie. I mean, he hasn't had an easy time since he came to live with us, but I did at least think he was happy being part of our family."

Marissa raised her head, concerned.

"Oh, I know he cares for all of you very much. It's just...actually, I think that may be the problem." Marissa looked apologetic.

Kirsten was puzzled.

"What do you mean?"

Marissa shrugged and thought for a moment.

"You know, when I first got to know Ryan, when he was living in the Model Home, he said something which I always remembered. We knew he was going to have to leave the house, and Seth and I were trying to persuade him to stay locally, so we could still hang out?"

Kirsten smiled. How typical of Seth to want to cling on to this new friend.

Marissa continued.

"And he got all upset, and asked what was supposed to happen in the fall when we went back to school..."

Kirsten was still confused. Marissa pressed on. "He's careful about getting close to people, you know that. He doesn't want to feel like he did when his mom left him. And this college thing? He knows it's only seven, eight months away, and it's like, you're his family now, but when he's eighteen and school's finished, it's over."

"But we're not going to just kick him out when he's eighteen. We're not going to suddenly stop caring for him..."

Marissa shook her head. "No, that's not really it. Ryan knows you wouldn't do that. What I mean is, he loves being part of your family, your family life, the way you do things, doing the things normal families do. Things that I guess he never had." She hesitated as she struggled to explain what she meant. "I think he just wants things to stay the same, and he knows they won't. So..."

"So he's saving himself eight months of heartache, eight months of knowing it's about to end, by severing the ties now." Kirsten finished.

Marissa nodded. "Exactly."

tbc


	4. Chapter 4

This is the fourth drabble in my series, **Crisis Conversations**, set during The Perfect Storm. This is Seth/Ryan. Many thanks to my beta, Loracj.

**Lost On Land**

"So, you're really going?" Seth stands awkwardly at the door to the poolhouse, his hands thrust into his pockets, watching the pile of clothes on Ryan's bed grow bigger.

Ryan looks across at him. "I know you're mad at me, Seth."

"No, not mad. I'm trying to be mature this time Ryan."

Ryan eyes him skeptically. Seth relents.

"OK, maybe a little mad. But, more disappointed I guess."

Ryan frowns. Seth shrugs.

"You know, you didn't have much longer to go. You could have graduated."

"It's not about that, Seth." Ryan's answer is curt.

"I know that." Seth responds.

Ryan raises his eyebrows questioningly.

"But do you really think running away to sea is going to be any less lonely?"

Ryan stops shoving a pair of jeans into his bag. Sometimes Seth takes his breath away.

"Can't be any worse can it?" His look is stony.

Seth is hesitant. He doesn't want to sound like he's pleading.

"What about if I ask Dad if I can do the home tutoring thing too?"

Ryan's eyes soften.

"I can't ask you to do that Seth."

"Yeah, because Harbor and I mean so much to each other."

Ryan takes a deep breath and sits down.

"It's not just school. I don't fit in, not anywhere. Not with you guys at Harbor, not with Marissa and her friends. Hell, I didn't even fit with my own brother when he was here."

"Trey's definitely different to you."

"Different to me now yeah. I don't think he knew who I was any more. I don't think I know myself."

Seth is serious.

"So, be whoever you want to be."

Ryan can't help smiling at this. He knows what other people want him to be. He's just not sure himself.

"And what if I don't know?"

Seth shrugs. "Take your time. There's no hurry."

"There kind of is. Another couple of months and you'll have all decided which colleges you want to go to, what you want to do with your lives. I don't know if I can do that. "

"Then don't. Wait a while. Going to college isn't cast in stone."

"I don't think your parents think that."

"They're parents. They're trained to think like that. It's that whole 'protect your young' syndrome. They just want us to get the best out of our lives."

Seth is suddenly curious.

"What is it you DO want Ryan?"

Ryan hesitates and thinks for a moment. Seth is hisclosest friend, the person he confides in the most, the one constant in the ebb and flow ofthe relationships he's made in Newport, the person who gave up his only child status to share his parents with a stranger. But Ryan knows thathe above all people won't get it. Because how can he understand what Ryan wants when all he wants is the opposite?

tbc


	5. Chapter 5

**Saying Goodbye a Second Time**

She places her hand on the door handle and stops. She watches him as he moves about the room purposefully. The lump in her throat burns. How is it that this boy, a stranger to her just over two years ago, is now about to walk out of their lives for a second time and break her heart all overagain? Howis it that her own husband, the man that brought this boy into their lives, can let him go like this, with a quick flourish of a pen, as if signing for a delivery at the front door?

She takes a deep breath and opens the door.

"All set?" Her voice is too brittle, her eyes too bright.

He stops and turns, smiles at her shyly.

"Almost."

She walks over and presses a bag of oranges into his hand. She flushes mildly, embarrassed. He looks downat the gift, puzzled.

"Some healthy snacks for the high seas. Don't want you coming home with scurvy…"

He grins as he places them next to his clothes. "In three weeks?" he teases. "I think that was the sixteenth century, Kirsten, when sailors were away for months at a time."

Her eyes glisten and she folds her arms across herself protectively.

She hesitates.

"I'm sorry, Ryan... that you've had such a hard time lately. I wish I could turn back the clock, I wish I could have been there for you when you needed me, I wish..."

But he cuts her short, his voice gentle. "It's OK, really. None of this is your fault."

She shakes her head. "No, if I'd just…"

"Please…." His eyes beg her to stop and she does. It's almost too painful for her to say out loud and it's definitely too painful for him to hear.

"Won't you change your mind?"

"I can't. I can't carry on like this."

She hears the weariness in his response.

"You know I don't agree with Sandy, right? I don't think for one minute that he should have signed that paper. I think he's being irresponsible."

"Please don't be mad with Sandy. He's only giving me what I want. What I need." His heads drops and she can't see his face. She thinks she knows what he needs, and it's not this.

She reaches out to him, touching his shoulder lightly.

"Ryan, whatever it is, we can sort this out together, as a family…"

He draws away and shakes his head, still bowed.

She nods, knowing she's defeated. She brushes at her eyes irritably.

"Kirsten?" His voice is halting but he has raised his head to look directly at her.

"Thanks. I know the word Mom doesn't mean quite the same to me as it does Seth, but thanks, you know, for being one…"

She sniffs and smiles too brightly at him.

"I'm not ready to stop being your mom, Ryan."

The End


End file.
